Pulling a Bowie

Yes Bowie, as in David! Anyone who really loved this artist, will understand what I mean. Perhaps we Bowie fans followed him all these decades, because like his song..He went through changes right in front of our very eyes.
  Hey, I don't know what sh*t happened in his life, it is clear I would never understand, as I have not gone from basic obscurity to fame..I am still floating about the obscure zone. But, I do understand that sometimes, change is absolutely necessary. I certainly have never had a change as dramatic as David, but, again, drama in my world does not compare with his.
  So..to change something sounds a tad boring...but to "pull a Bowie" well, that sounds far more exciting, and positive, from now on no more Ch-Changes..I am pulling Bowies.Wheee..
  Yeah, I suspected time was racing towards this, I have spent years debating, weighing pros and cons, and each time, the pros would be far heavier than the cons. I lost hours, days, weeks, of sleep, attempting to find an easy solution..but, as usual, easy does not make a regular appearance in my world. Every single thing has some sort of addendum..and so on and so on..to infinity and beyond!(Infinity..one day when I am really brave I will blog about this..drives me batty.)
  Change is difficult. Oh I suppose if I were Donald Trump, change wouldn't be so hard..cripes..just one clue would change that twit..and I get clues quite often..wonder why he doesn't? Yep, money can make change simple, money is usually the main culprit that holds change back. So, if there were a few million bucks in my savings, hey..piece of cake! Sadly, I am a few million short of that..so, going to have to Pull a Bowie, the hard way.
  This time, I am doing the deed in levels. First level, work like an idiot, second level, have a melt down, third level...regroup. So..I am in the midst of re-grouping. Things that I imagined were impossible, now appear to have possible solutions. Is this truly what I need and want right now? Well, again, the ability to test the waters, has certainly clarified things. See, sometimes memories of things are blurry, and one can begin to believe things to be better than they truly are, then reality hits, and the truth is, they are not so good. Think I have tested that issue, and things are pretty clear.I know this is NOT perfect, by a long shot..but, I do believe it is right.
  So, when the time is right, I will progress onto the next level. I understand it will take time, because of course unless I win the lotto, I still don't have the means, but I have figured out some ways. Besides being frugal, I am pretty low maintenance. I have come to a point in life where I simply want the basics. Oh...don't get me wrong, I need a tad more basics than are available at this moment, but..those will come in time.
  Like I said, this Bowie has been on the burner for many years, like instinct, sometimes one's heart speaks, and no matter how hard a person tries to ignore this, it is telling you what you need. I need to find my way "Home". Is this an age thing? I'm not sure. All I know is, my heart has become unbearably loud, and ignoring it has caused an awful lot of anguish. I am listening now, and I will find a way to follow my heart!